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There’s a sweeping epidemic taking over the United States: American women, for some reason, are actually trying to pass themselves off as European. Now this means that just because they buy European goods, such as Gucci, Prada and Chanel, they sometimes believe that they have the right to call themselves European.

This is particularly true when it comes to women who are of some European descent; for example, if you are Italian, but have never been back to Italy and you don’t speak the language, then you, my lady, are not European. Being a guidette also does not constitute you as a European either. There are plenty of cultural differences between American ladies and women from Europe.

Just in case you now find yourself questioning whether you are European or not, we have decided to make it easy for you and break down the distinctions. Here are the 10 differences between American and European women:

10. American women cling to Hollister hoodies and Uggs as native fashions.

American women, particularly those in college, have a very unique style. Sometimes they just flat out don’t care what they are wearing. Many times this causes them to leave their residence with a simple pair of Uggs and sweatpants.

Although this may be comfortable to you, it is an eyesore to others. Now we are not saying not to be comfortable; however, it is imperative that you look presentable as you are competing against European women who have mastered the art of being comfortable and looking good doing it.

Whereas European women don’t leave the house without looking pristine.

European women put American women to shame when it comes to dressing and looking appropriate. While dressing comfortably, European women have the ability to look great as well. This is in their particular attention to detail. No detail is too small as each piece of clothing is a representation of who you are.

There is nothing wrong with a woman who takes her time to meticulously pick out her clothes in order to look presentable when leaving her house. This is a far cry from the sweatpants and Ugg boot combination more commonly found in America.

9. American women have bland accents and barely go through the troubles of learning another language.

English is spoken everywhere in the world, which is one reason why American women are less likely to master another language. Why learn something new when everything is already handed to you? Well this is the wrong mentality to have, as American women have some of the most horrible accents. After a brief conversation, they easily become annoying to listen to. Unfortunately this is a trend that will continue as the rest of the world is open to speaking English.

Whereas European women have elegant accents, have proper elocution and know multiple languages, including English.

There are a few things hotter than a foreign accent: be it in bed or just simple conversation. European women take the time to actually learn a few languages. English is something they are forced to learn in their schools from a young age. Over time, their elocution develops and becomes just as good as women in America. Even when they complain, it sounds hot because of their accents. Who wouldn’t rather listen to a a hot accent complain at you than a bland and boring American accent?

8. American women give their children as much Xanax as they are prescribed to.

There is no doubt that Americans are hooked on pills. We look for excuses to take any medicine we want and doctors nowadays are offering prescriptions left, right and center. Let’s be honest we don’t need half the pills we are consuming today. However some women in this country deem it appropriate to over-medicate their kids.

There is nothing wrong with worrying about the wellness of your kids, but it becomes a problem when your kid is consuming the same amount of Xanax as you are. Women in America have no shame when it comes to giving their kids prescription medicines. Then they wonder why their kids are all hooked on drugs by the time they graduate high school.

Whereas European women would only use medicine as a last resort.

In Europe, the prescription craze is not like it is in America. It is almost sinful to give your kids medicine unless they really need it. Then again pharmaceutical companies don’t make as much money in Europe as they do in America.

European women seek different, natural remedies to medicate their kids. Everyone gets headaches and stomach aches, but there is no reason to give your kids painkillers if they can get over it on their own. They have an understanding that medicine is simply a way to cure infections and serious diseases.

7. American women love drinking beer and let their beer drinking get out of hand, to the point where they actually get fat.

Beer has to be one of the worst alcohols for the body. Not only do Americans love beer, but it is the main diet of any girl going to college. American women fill themselves with beer, then just mope around all day wondering why they are getting fat. There is nothing worse than the freshman 15 a woman puts on, mostly because of stress from school and the amount of beer they consume over the year. This has to be one of the worst habits American women have. It leads to horrible hangovers and beer bellies.

Whereas European women predominately drink wine and champagne, which helps them maintain their bodies.

European women seek pleasure in getting drunk as well; however, they do it in a manner which predominately consists of drinking wine and champagne. Wine and champagne are not as taxing on the body as beer. Many of their drinks predominately are consumed with their meals.

You will catch European women casually have a drink of wine or champagne with their meals simply as a means of enhancing the taste of the food. Being that wine and champagne aren’t as taxing on the body as beer European women stay thinner and tighter into the late stages of their lives.

6. American women are angered when you ask them to make you a simple sandwich after sex.

The biggest problem women have in this country is that after laying down and giving you the dead fish JAP as a sorry excuse for sex, they decide to get angry if you ask them to make you a sandwich so that you might replenish all the nutrients you lost. Now it’s a simple sandwich that can take you a maximum of 15 minutes to make. I mean what’s so hard about making a sandwich after you just laid there helplessly taking the D?

Where as European women are delighted to cook you a whole 3-course meal that you both can enjoy after sex.

After an intense sex session, there is nothing stopping a European woman from heading to the kitchen and cooking up a storm. Unlike the Americans who get offended, European women understand that you need to replenish you nutrients after good sex. Instead of making a basic sandwich and complaining about it, this woman will go into the kitchen and cook up a 3 -course meal for both of you to enjoy. What is better than a great meal after great sex?

5. American women are content with leaving their homes looking gross and sloppy.

Some of the messiest homes in the world belong to American women. Has anyone ever walked into a sorority and seen the sheer condition of some of those rooms? Now American women for some reason feel that they don’t have to clean or tidy up. Maybe because many of them grew up with maids that daddy paid for because he didn’t want his sweet little daughter getting all dirty.

Well this has done them more damage than good as it has taught them no house organization skills. Who doesn’t want a woman that takes pride in a clean household?

Whereas European women know that the home is something you must cherish, therefore they take honor in keeping their homes tidy and clean.

Just like how clothes are an expression of oneself, so is the cleanliness of the home. European woman know this best and they understand the importance of keeping a tidy home. No guests want to come visit you if you live in a messy slum. European women take the time out of their day to maintain their homes as it is their dwelling place.

The home and its cleanliness represents who you are as a person; are you one who is organized and has things under control or are you someone who is messy and has a disorganized life?

4. American women don’t look forward to having children. Many are stay-at-home moms who still hire nannies to raise their kids then don’t know who to blame when their kids grow up rebellious.

One of the biggest fears for American women is having children, not because they are scared for what it will do to their body, but the fact that they have to give up the attention they receive. It is no longer about them anymore, but about the family and some American women really struggle with this idea.

Also many American women do not look forward to having kids, they see them as annoying and nagging creatures. Although this may be true sometimes, it is not true for the most part. Also the funny thing about American women is that they would have kids, become stay-at-home moms and still hire nannies to raise their kids. Then when their kids feel neglected and start to rebel they sit their and act clueless.

Whereas European women take pride in raising their kids and actually look forward to having children.

European women on the other hand enjoy raising kids and see it as a natural progression of society. They encourage each other to raise kids and take pride in doing so. There is nothing a kid could ask for more than parents who are around them and give them the necessary attention. European women only hire nannies in extreme cases when there is a conflicting schedule.

The thought of being a stay-at-home mom and not actually raising your kids is bewildering to European women as they look forward to being a part of their kids’ life. They understand the responsibility that comes with the task and they accept the mom role willingly.

3. American women are less liberal with their bodies and therefore are deterred from walking around the beach topless.

American women are just as beautiful as European women; however, they are scared to go topless on the beach. Women in America are less liberal when it comes to their bodies as they are very insecure and truly worried about what the next person is going to say. This actually makes them feel more self-conscious and makes them want to hide their bodies as if they are ashamed. American women fear walking around topless on the beach, it is almost social suicide for a woman to walk around topless.

Whereas European women see no issue with walking around topless.

In Europe, women have no problem showing off their tight and in shape bodies. Walking on the beach in Europe there would be something wrong if you do not see women walking and enjoying the sun topless. Women are more free spirited when it comes to their bodies and don’t mind showing off some nip action. They don’t do this to show of their breasts, they do it for comfort and an all around tan. What’s better than having a naked women in front of you with no tan lines as if her body were naturally tan?

2. American women know how to roll a blunt, pack a bowl and hit the bong, but can’t properly season a chicken.

We have to give it to American women, their blunt/joint rolling skills are unparallelled. Few women in the world can roll blunts and joints better than American woman. Now how can something so difficult be mastered easily, yet seasoning a simple chicken is a mystery. Packing a bowl or bong may be easier than stuffing a turkey, but let’s be honest, putting some seasoning on a chicken and throwing it in the oven can’t be that difficult.

Whereas European women can roll jays when needed and they can properly season any dish you want.

Now European women cannot roll joints at the level at which American women can do so, but they can at least properly prepare a dish for the munchies you get afterwards. As long as the joint is smoke-able then that’s all we need to make us happy. We are not asking for intricate cross joints, just a simple joint to get us where we need to go. Then once the munchies hit a great meal properly prepared instead of ordering take out is simply amazing.

1. American women have this chip on their shoulder that for some reason they have to prove that they are equal to men.

For some reason in America women have the mindset that they must prove to be equal to men. There is nothing wrong with gender equality; however, it becomes an issue when you spend most of your life thinking you’re not equal rather than just acting like you are. No man is here to keep women oppressed, it is actually hurtful to society to do so. American women complain about everything that their man asks them to do but when the bills are paid and you’re stomping around in your Giuseppe Zanotti heels he bought for you, everything is okay. Ever wonder how much time and effort went into getting those heels?

European women understand the role of each of the sexes and are content with doing their part as long as they are not disrespected.

In Europe, women do not see themselves as inferior to men. They know that in a relationship there are roles and their role isn’t one which is more or less subservient. Each partner brings something to the relationship, which is a common distinction women in America don’t understand. As long as neither participants in the relationship are disrespectful to one another then there is equality in the relationship. European women understand this, that is why they will be more satisfied in a relationship in the long run.
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